This Guy…

knows how to live a perfect life.

I would like to shake your hand sir because you, are amazing.

Words Cannot Describe

what I am about to post.  My mind is in a constant state of mush right now because of what I have read and seen while researching this post.  You cannot fathom how many pairs of pants I went through while researching.  Thousands.

Literally thousands.

Yeah, sick right?  Just wait for this.

Just wait.

Ah shit.  I am no longer compos mentis.  Nope, not even in the slightest.

Go to the build thread and just look at all the work and proper craftsmanship that went into this beast.  I cannot do this build any justice by trying to be witty and comical about it.  You just have to go through the build thread and see everything with your own eyes.  Just go.  Don’t hesitate, GO!!

Thanks for the tip Don.

Toyotafest ’11

Canibeat and What Monsters Do had  great articles and amazing photos from this year’s Toyotafest and I needed to share them with you guys.  I needed to do so worse than I need pants sometimes (we all know I mess my pants at least twice a day).

Let’s start things off with this 70’s Toyota Hi-Lux.

Hood-ride/mini-truck style?  I dig it.  It dig it quite well.

When was the last time you guys saw a Hi-Lux like this laying in the weeds?  Better question:when was the last time you guys saw a Hi-Lux?  I personally have never had the privilege of seeing one in person.  I hope to some day!

I love the smell of a well-done xB in the morning.  Don’t you?

Yeah?  Well enjoy these too!

If that is a real Lover Soul wing, then I am about grab my helmet because my mind is on the verge of assploding.

It’s official, my mind just assploded.

So many things have gone so well in the photo.  So many things…

A little much for my tastes, but I cannot deny how amazing this B looks.  Well done sir.  Very well done.

I believe that that is only the second chrome Damd grille cover I have ever seen.  This xB is a thing of beauty.  Absolute, unadulterated, beauty.

Just insane.

Top Line kit?  I have not seen one of those kits for quite some time.  California has such gorgeous xB’s.  I hate you all (with love)!!

Umm, excuse me.  Yeah, you.  No, you.  Yeah, you over there.  The one in green!!  Yeah, that super sexy Corona over there on sakuras.  Could you kindly stop being so Goddamn sexy?  Seriously, just stop emanating sex from every angle.  K thnx bye.

I wonder what that little turd from the Highlander commercials thinks of this one.

Oh sweet baby jeebus.  My mind just assploded sixteen times in succession.  This is a called the Starlet Effect.  There is no cure.

And just for good measure, let us add a splash of Celica to the mix!

I really hope to make it out to a Toyotafest one of these days.  I mean I survived the rapture, i think I owe it to myself to get to one!

Pics and Info: Canibeat and What Monsters Do

Only One Problem

There is only one problem I could possibly find with this photo.

That Porsche is not on the track!!  Looks like you are at one.  Get on it!

Race-Prepped Lexus . . .

. . . Hybrid?

Yerp!  AutoBlog reported that Lexus will be fielding a CT Hybrid at the Nürburgring this weekend in a bid for the Adenauer ADAC Rudstrecken-Trophy.

I think this is fantastic!  I have seen Gazoo’s name on other Lexus’s and Toyota’s, my personal favourite being the iQ, and am excited to see what this baby can do.

It will continue to use the Lexus Hybrid Drive but the 1.8L engine was swapped out for a juicier 2.4L one.  The engineering in this thing is likely quite beautiful.  They kept much of what makes it stock, but added enough to make it competitive.

Peep Lexus’s Press release for more:

LEXUS CT MAKES RACING DEBUT

Full hybrid set to take on the Nürburgring

The legendary Nürburgring will host the racing debut of Lexus’s full hybrid CT tomorrow (14 May) when the luxury hatchback lines up on the starting grid for a gruelling endurance race.

Primed by Gazoo Racing, the motorsport specialists responsible for the racing Lexus LFA, the CT is competing in the Adenauer ADAC Rundstrecken-Trophy, contested over six hours on one of racing’s most daunting circuits. Almost 200 cars are expected to line up for the start.

Competing in the SP4 Class, the GAZOO Racing CT, like its road-going sister CT 200h model, features Lexus Hybrid Drive, but with a higher capacity 2.4-litre petrol engine instead of the usual 1.8 unit. The batteries and hybrid system are identical to the road car. At start-up and under braking, the race car uses just its electric motor, producing zero tailpipe emissions and using no fuel. The combustion engine seamlessly takes over at higher speeds with the electric motor providing extra power when accelerating and at racing speeds.

Throughout its operation, the Lexus full hybrid system intelligently selects the most appropriate power source and also captures energy through regenerative braking to charge the battery, which in turn powers the electric motor.

Thanks to Lexus Hybrid Drive, the GAZOO Racing CT will require less fuel and will emit lower levels of CO2 and harmful NOx than any equivalent petrol or diesel race car.

Lexus remains the only car manufacturer to compete in major endurance races with full hybrid cars, starting with the Lexus RX 400h which contested the Nürburgring24 Hours in 2005.

The GAZOO Racing CT driver line-up features three experienced pilots: Kumi Sato, a female racer who competed in a Lexus IS 250 in 2008; Masahiko Kageyama, who previously supported Toyota’s vehicle development programme; and MinoruTakaki, who is responsible for production vehicle development.

I am excite!

Pics and info: AutoBlog

Cleanest Coupe

There really is not much to say about this BMW M Coupe.  I find it absolutely fantastic and so well done.  Mildly modified, but done so very, very well.

Everything about it is just so right.

Clean.  Simple.  Gorgeous.

Just one more because I love it so much!

Pics: Flickr

We are Back!!!!!!!

Son of a Bitch!!

So as some of you may know, and the other not-so-keen of you are about to find out, I have been unable to update the blog, in any way shape or form, for over a week.  Why?  Well, I moved out to Minnesota for work and I have been living in a cabin with no internet and cable access since then.  That means I have not used a computer for almost two weeks and have not been able to do a thing for the blog!  Gah!!!!  Thankfully I did have access to my iPhone and was able to at least put a couple things on OMGP’s FBook page.  Sadly though, I had no access to any of my files so I could update zee blog!  You will be happy to hear that I am now mooching off a Barnes and Nobles’ internet and will probably continue to do this so I can bring you guys the amazing stuff you all crave!!!

I will continue to bring the awesome!  Don’t you worry!  I will just have to figure out clever ways of doing it.  I got you though!!!

My first post back will include this amazing Lancia Delta.  Enjoy the shit out of it, I know I have been.

The Martini livery can never grow old.  Never.

I wish I could have seen when these things dominated rally.  Pipe dreams I suppose.

DAT ASS!!!!

OMGP’s NYIAS Experience: Part Deux

My apologies for not getting a post up yesterday.  My day was monopolized much more so than I had anticipated so I didn’t actually get home to quite late.  Good news though!

I don’t really have good news, I was hoping to think of something, but nothing happened in my noggin in time.  So, onwards!!!!

I shall start with something a little extravagant, Porsche.

The new Cayennes actually look . . . decent.  Hmm.  I really did not like these when they first came out.  I always thought they looked like a 911 had relations with an Silverado and a H2 and their sperm somehow combined in a  Weird Science sort of moment and out came the bulbous in places and obese in others, Cayenne.  But I really like the lines of the new one.  It’s the large child from the 911 family.  Not the fat kid, but the one that could be a fullback in college but never makes it.

1,000,000 likes GT car.  Anyone actually have their name on here?

Carrera GTS.  I would do so many nasty things to you.  So many . . .

Utilitarian Porsches?  I like where this is headed.  I like it indeed!

I am guessing this is going along with Porsches new ad campaign where they try and show ridiculous Porsches as everyday vehicles.  I can’t say I do not enjoy it.  Why not pick your kids up from school in a GT3 RS.  The roll bars in the back are great for strapping kids to!

I was a little annoyed after I saw this car.  Why?  Well because I saw it and immediately threw an old woman aside to get to it, thinking that this was the illustrious Sport Classic.

But alas, it is just a Targa 4S with the same wheels from the Sport Classic.  Bullocks!  It is till a nice vehicle, but it is no Sport Classic.  😦

From one car that annoyed me to one that I was meh about.

Saab, where have you gone?  What are you doing with your lives?  What the hell happened to your gorgeous wagons?  Where did they go?

Where are they Saab?  Where?!?!

If I look at this thing from the rear wheelwell back, it looks quite nice and you would think, “Herm, this should be a nice ride, no?”  Then you pan forward and your face goes limp.  You turn around and walk away in despair.

Want to know how to build a very nice wagon Saab?  Take a cue from Acura.

They finally brought over their Accord Wagon to the States and oh boy, I loves it!  Very well styled and very good looking.  While so many companies are dropping their wagon platforms, Honda had the balls to bring in one to a brand that has never had one before.  I definitely respect that.

I really hope people buy this because it looks like a great vehicle.  Keep the wagons alive!!!

*Vast departure from previous topics alert*

Sebastian Vettel’s F1 car.  Infiniti sponsored, Renault powered.

I bet you most people at the show knew nothing about it or even noticed it.

Mini next?  Yes please!

Onwards!

It is a pretty well-known fact that I love the Mini Clubman and I lust after an S version.  Is it any surprise that I spent most of my time here?  Chatting with the reps Mini had there (one super-cute one in particular).  No surprise at all.

Mini, if you’re watching (which I know you do), call me!

Kiss-styled Countryman . . .

Moving on.

The Mini Cooper S Countryman All4 (that’s a mouthful).

I like the Countryman.  It seems more like the vehicle normal people would buy, not so much the fanatical people that tend to buy Minis now.  I also like the way this one in the pic is kitted out.  The dude in the back just broke his back looking at this thing.  Look at that slouch!

I’ll end this post with Scion.

Scion had their usual display with the double stacked car coral or whatever it is called.  It was stocked with their concept and display cars of old.  Many of the same cars you and I have all seen.  I think this is the third year for that display and I must say, I am kind of tired of it.  I mean, I didn’t even take a picture of it this time.  I’ve seen it a million times, in person and in pictures.  Think of something new Scion.  If you can’t let me know and I’ll help you guys.

iQ, how I have missed you!!  I see you are sporting a Hot Lava paint job similar to the xB RS1.  I find this most enticing.  Nicely done iQ, nicely done.

I would have tried to find out more about the “pre-production” iQ but I gave up many years ago with the reps Scion hires.  I have never talked to an autoshow rep from Scion that could actually answer my questions, but if I wanted to know how many climate control knobs the xD has, they can help me there.  I just snap my pics and move on from the Scion booth.  Even as an owner of two Scion vehicles, I am over this.

Speed wing!

Lack of boot space is alarming.  Haha.  Not really though.  It is a city car, this is how they are meant to be.  I can’t wait for the iQ to hit showrooms!  Come on already!  I want to gawk at these in the wild already!

FR-S Concept!  Yum.  Pictures don’t do this thing justice.  It is quite the vehicle to behold with your own eyes.  I love every inch of it.  I know the production model (if it actually happens) will only get bits and pieces from this, but I have a good feeling that it will look stellar.  That is unless Toyota gets their Beige-Colored-Hands on it and waters it down.

Ugh, so nice.  So nice.

Dat is another Ass that I can end the day on!

Dat Ass!!!!!

OMGP’s NYIAS Experience: Part Juan

I am finally getting up the NYIAS posts.  This will be my third time writing about it and I am pretty much going to keep it to the same science I have always done it.  Most blogs break their auto show posts into specific categories and sections.  Some give each make/model their own post.  Being this specific and anal is not how I roll, I do what I want, when I want.  It’s my party and I’ll do as I please!

That being said, I will do a breakdown, but I’ll be doing it the Brown Bear way.  That way is: sexified and petrified.  Let’s get on with it!!!

I shall start with the very first vehicle I saw when I walked into the show.  Well, the first one that I cared about.

LFA deliciousness.

Wouldn’t a hand-assembled, 522 hp V10 make you stop and take notice?  The bright yellow paint doesn’t hurt to catch my retina’s attention.

That ass alone could stop a blind man in his tracks.  Of course he could be stopped by it if he walked into it.

I just ruined my analogy didn’t I?  Dammit!

BMW didn’t bring one wagon to the show.  NOT A ONE!!  I even went and asked their reps, just to make sure I wasn’t blind.  They tried to point me toward the ghastly turd that is the X6, and tell me that it was close, but I promptly shot that notion down.  How could you BMW?  How could you?  I mean you already dropped all your Stateside wagons to just the 5-series and now you won’t even let the public enjoy it?

Unforgivable.

But they at least brought out one of their gorgeous GT2 M3’s.  Still though, no wagons is unforgivable.

/Rant

In my opinion, the perfect driving machine.  I would stab all of you for the chance to drive one flat out.  All of you.  I’d do it.  Lotus, are you listening?!

Sooooooo, this was the first time I had ever seen a Veyron in person and let’s just say, I wasn’t able to stand straight up for a while.  My pants were tight, that is what I am trying to get at here.  Geez.  It sure does have one helluva presence.  Commanding people’s attention.

How about some Land Rover lovin’?

Now, I didn’t take any pics of the rest of the Land Rover lineup, well because we’ve all seen them four billion times and they don’t do anything for me.  If the had brought a Defender, then I would have been all over that like Richard Greico on 21 Jump Street.  Obviously they didn’t.  They never do.

They did however have these nifty little rides.  The Range Rover Evoque.

I really like the look of them.  Very stylish and very sleek, not to mention, a brave departure from their normal soccer-mom mobiles.

I haven’t been able to find much information on them, but the Land Rover rep did say that this model is slated for production soon.  This could be a very nice addition to the highways.

I think I will end things today with Audi.

Audi brought out most of their product line to the show.  I tried to get a shot of the A3 and tried to look to see if there was an RS but there were too many bros and little kids running around for me to really care enough to wait to get a picture.  Oddly, the R8’s did not have a crowd so, enjoy them!

I’ll take two please!!!!!!!!  Gah!  So damn fine!

Dat Ass is a swell ass to go out on.

Expect more deliciousity tomorrow.

The Science of a Mind Assplosion

Ever wanted to know what exactly would cause your mind to assplode and come flying out of you neighbor’s kitchen sink?  Constantly view pictures such as this:

If you constantly view pictures of this caliber of dopesauce, you will have yourself a genuine mind assplosion within 2-4 weeks.

*Disclaimer*  Brown Bear, the procurer of Pancakery, is not a licensed doctor, but he plays one on the interwebs.

Pic: Scraped Crusaders