Marching into Battle

Oh, hey guys.  How ya doing?  That’s good.  How’s you mom?  Did she get that bunyan removed?  Oh, that’s good to hear, wait . . . hold on, I’ll be right back.

*waits five minutes*

*hurries back*

I’ll just put this right here . . .

Oh, what’s that?  You ‘re not impressed?  You really have no idea what I am doing and are confused.

Hold on a second . . .

What now?  You’re still utterly confused as to why I am just posting pics of this Nissan March/Micra and not explaining myself?  Well just wait there.

No, no, just sit tight for a second . . .

Speak up, I can’t hear you.  Now you’re just getting annoyed because you’re so confuzzled and annoyed that you cannot figure out what in the name of Homer I am doing.  Well, pull up a chair and pull the panties from your crack.  Might I also suggest covering your walls with plastic liner.  I’ll let you know what for in a minute.  Just do it.

Wait for it . . .

HUZZAH!

Yeah that’s right, I just blew your minds.  Oh yeah I did.  That is a modified Lotus 912 engine sitting in the engine bay of a normally mild-mannered Micra. Yeah, I’ll give you a second to soak that shit in.

Go ahead, take your time.

I’ll wait.

Aren’t you glad I told you to put up plastic.  Really helps to clean up the brain matter after I blew your mind just now.  I probably should have suggested a helmet too.

Ready?  Okay.

Like I said, that is a Lotus 912 engine, shoehorned into a Nissan March/Micra body, that has been stroked to 2498cc.  That brings that bitch up to 280bhp at 8000rpm.  270bhp out of a Micra!?!?  AND, it only weighs 2300 lbs!

AND, this is a RWD rally car!  Oh.  Em.  Gee.  I think I am smitten.

AND, it can overtake cars that should, in all likelihood, dessimate it.  Take for instance, this Impreza RS:

Hell yeah!  This thing is shit-nasty!

Oh Gawd, listen to this thing!  Nastiest sounding Micra I’ve ever heard/seen.

The engineering involved and overall level of supreme dopesauce that this car heralds is completely mind boggling.  I am deeply in love with this brutish-looking, speedy little Micra.  It’s not pretty, not by any means, but who really cares?  It can deliver!  That’s a beautiful thing to me.

Taking a slow car and making it fast and handle is one of life’s great little nuggets.  The cats at Lotusbits have my heart because this is amazing.

Find out more about this car and all the pieces involved at Lotusbits’ site, check out their blog, and peep 8J for their great European rally coverage.

Oh god, I need new shorts after writing this.