Oh, hey guys. How ya doing? That’s good. How’s you mom? Did she get that bunyan removed? Oh, that’s good to hear, wait . . . hold on, I’ll be right back.
*waits five minutes*
I’ll just put this right here . . .
Oh, what’s that? You ‘re not impressed? You really have no idea what I am doing and are confused.
Hold on a second . . .
What now? You’re still utterly confused as to why I am just posting pics of this Nissan March/Micra and not explaining myself? Well just wait there.
No, no, just sit tight for a second . . .
Speak up, I can’t hear you. Now you’re just getting annoyed because you’re so confuzzled and annoyed that you cannot figure out what in the name of Homer I am doing. Well, pull up a chair and pull the panties from your crack. Might I also suggest covering your walls with plastic liner. I’ll let you know what for in a minute. Just do it.
Wait for it . . .
Yeah that’s right, I just blew your minds. Oh yeah I did. That is a modified Lotus 912 engine sitting in the engine bay of a normally mild-mannered Micra. Yeah, I’ll give you a second to soak that shit in.
Go ahead, take your time.
Aren’t you glad I told you to put up plastic. Really helps to clean up the brain matter after I blew your mind just now. I probably should have suggested a helmet too.
Like I said, that is a Lotus 912 engine, shoehorned into a Nissan March/Micra body, that has been stroked to 2498cc. That brings that bitch up to 280bhp at 8000rpm. 270bhp out of a Micra!?!? AND, it only weighs 2300 lbs!
AND, this is a RWD rally car! Oh. Em. Gee. I think I am smitten.
AND, it can overtake cars that should, in all likelihood, dessimate it. Take for instance, this Impreza RS:
Hell yeah! This thing is shit-nasty!
Oh Gawd, listen to this thing! Nastiest sounding Micra I’ve ever heard/seen.
The engineering involved and overall level of supreme dopesauce that this car heralds is completely mind boggling. I am deeply in love with this brutish-looking, speedy little Micra. It’s not pretty, not by any means, but who really cares? It can deliver! That’s a beautiful thing to me.
Taking a slow car and making it fast and handle is one of life’s great little nuggets. The cats at Lotusbits have my heart because this is amazing.
Oh god, I need new shorts after writing this.